I need a little release...

I mentioned in another post that I have been in a funk lately.  I think it is a combination of things going on in my life.  Living in an apartment with 8 people STINKS!  Not everything about it is hard, just most of it.  The worst for me is not being able to have people over.  We are a pretty social family and love to invite people over for dinner or games and dessert.  Unfortunately we just don't have room for that.  I can't wait to have a house and be able to play hostess again.  Our kitchen is VERY small and so cooking and baking is a challenge.  I love to have the kids helping me and they enjoy it also.  I worry so much that because we are tripping all over each other while cooking someone is going to get hurt or burned.  I think they miss being kitchen helpers also.  I also can't have play dates here because the majority of our toys are boxed up in storage.  Plus it's hard to visit with other moms when there is no other place for the kids to play.  It gets so loud.  On a positive note...I can have the whole place cleaned up in less than an hour.  I will miss that!  I won't talk about everything else but know that I am really, really looking forward to building a new house next year.

The election has added to my stress - not only the office of the President, but local and state leaders and initiatives and referendums.  There's a whole lot going on! 

I was raised by deeply patriotic parents, my father in particular.  The 4th of July was a much celebrated holiday that we looked forward to each year - not just the barbecues and fireworks, but the reminders of our national history, founding fathers, wars and freedoms.  I'm so grateful to have had that love of country shown to me from my earliest childhood.  Every year I tell myself that I will do better as a parent in instilling that in my children, but fear I am failing in that regard.

During this last election I was a Romney/Ryan supporter.  I am not an in-your-face person about politics but have very strong feelings about the direction our country has been going the last few years.  There is a great need for change and I don't agree with the change that is happening.  I love my country so will support and pray for our President just as I do for my leaders at church, school and in the community.  I have great concern for my friends and family that own small businesses.  I have watched them struggle over the last few years and hope that they can survive in the coming years.  Without small businesses succeeding our country cannot prosper.  We also have many friends and family in the medical profession - ER doctors, private practice, surgeons, nurses, optomologists, anaesthesiologists, and more.  What does the future hold for them?  How will their lives and jobs change with the changes in health care?  The economy is my biggest concern but I think it's obvious why that worries me.  Will my kids be able to find good jobs now as they start learning responsibility and later when they need to support themselves?  Accepting handouts and sitting on their rear ends has never been an option.  Work is what we have taught them and that is what gains respect.

I don't know if this election was an emotional one for me because as I get older I am more aware of the deep impact seemingly small things can have or if it's because I see the foundation that is being laid for my children.  Leaving them with trillions of dollars of national debt is not fair.  We struggle now and I can't imagine how they will struggle to live comfortably, support themselves and their families and ultimately retire with little to no worries.  I'm afraid that won't happen.  I always tell my children that I hope they are better than we are as parents - that they are more successful, better parents, happier.  Isn't that the wish of every parent?

I am still grateful to be an American.  Grateful that our acceptance has come so far that we have an African-American President, that a Mormon man was able to run for US President with so much support and get half of the popular vote, and that record number of women and minorities have been elected to all levels of government.  We have come a long way but our progress must not stop or even go backwards.  I will continue to fight for those things that I know and believe are best for our country.  I'm grateful for my faith to lift me up and give me courage and understanding when I need it most.

That is a whole lot of rambling and may not make sense but I have a lot of thoughts right now and I am having a hard time expressing them.  I just want a little bit of this written down and sometimes this is the only type of journaling I do.  I will close with one last thing:  Last night after the election was finalized a friend (Obama supporter) posted this on facebook: "Mark my words: Second-term Obama will look NOTHING like first-term Obama."  I hope and pray that she is right, although I believe that it means something totally different to the both of us.